Caught

                                                                    I  Caught You

“Connie? Connie, I’m home!”

“I’m upstairs!”

“No need to yell, I can hear you. What are you doing up there?”

“I’m in your office.”

“My office? What are you doing in my office and what ‘s wrong with your voice?”

“Nothing’s wrong …with me.”

“Then why the hell are you yelling at me? I just got home from work and you’re pissy already.”

“My laptop broke this morning, Derek, and I had a big presentation to do, remember? “

“Oh shit! Sorry. Why are you in my office though?  You can’t get on my computer.It has a password so the kids can’t get on and screw up my work.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Derek, what do you think I am, an idiot? You use the same password for everything you own. You’re a hackers dream! Isn’t that your phone binging or pinging or whatever it is the damn thing does when you have a message?”

“Never mind my damn phone. You went through my password?”

“What’s the matter, dear? You’re looking a little pale all of a sudden.  Is the realization that your wife isn’t as dumb as you thought she was just hitting home now?”

“What in the hell are you talking about? I don’t think you’re dumb. I’ve never thought that!”

“Shouldn’t you answer your phone?”

“NO! I shouldn’t answer the phone! What is wrong with you?”

“What’s wrong with me? I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me mister prowlcat@hotmail. Oh Derek, you don’t look so well all of a sudden.  Maybe you should answer your phone; it may be someone who wants to make you happy, Mr. Prowlcat. “

“Shut up Connie. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“No! I will not shut up! For months you’ve been playing me for a fool. You were so goddamn sure that your prissy little wife would never disobey you and use your computer. You are so cocky that you left yourself logged in to what? I don’t even know what to call it you lying, cheating bastard!”

“Now just hold on a minute! I never once cheated on you! It’s just words over a computer, nothing more. What the hell is going on with this damn phone?”

“Oh save the tears!  Just answer your goddamn phone. I could use a little pick me up. Maybe one of your little texting sluts would want to include your little wife…would that do it for you Derek?”

“Shut up! Just shut up! “

“No, I’m not going to shut up, at least not yet. To me, it’s not just words over a computer. It’s me living with a man I don’t know and can no longer trust. We have four, four beautiful children…”

“Connie please, no…”

“Four children who deserve a normal life that you’ve taken away from them. There is nothing normal about this behavior and I will not tolerate it. Do you hear me? You’re not home anymore Derek. You’ve got to go.”

“Connie please, I’m begging you. I’ll go to counseling. No one knows about this but you. I’ll do whatever you want, just please give me a second chance!! I’m begging you.”

“Stop sniveling. It won’t work. I’ve made up my mind. Your phone is still binging or pinging …”

“Fuck the phone! How can you be concerned about the phone when you’re tearing our life apart! Have you lost your mind? Please, let’s be reasonable, we can talk about this later when we’re both calmer…”

“No. there will be no more talking, but there is something I should tell you.  You’re wrong about something. Well, several things to be exact. First I,n all of your sexting, which I believe is the coined phrase for that filth, you kept saying your wife was too computer stupid to ever catch you. Wrong. I caught you. Two, I not only caught you…I copied every one of your dirty little scripts and e-mailed them to everyone in your address book. You really should answer your phone Derek. It could be your mother…”